Darkhorse Diaries

As I have been contemplating recent changes in my life – brought about by the fact that my work situation finally became intolerable – (though the horror of what has happened in Japan puts my little drama completely into perspective) these words found their way to me:

Last night the tongues of fire
Circled me around
And this strange
Season of pain
Will come to pass
When the healing hands
Of Autumn
Cool me down.

(Indigo Girls)

I found this quote in an old diary, written a lifetime ago, as I prepared to leave England for good and return home.  And indeed, autumn is upon us, there’s a faint chill in the air and  “strange season of pain” pretty much describes the last 5 months of my life.

As to my reasons for ending the work I was doing:

If you place a thing into the center of your life
That lacks the power to nourish
It will eventually poison everything that you are
And destroy you

As simple a thing as an idea
Or your perspective on yourself of the world
No one can be the source of your content,
It lies within, in the center.

(Faithless: Liontamer)

No regrets. I learned many things and formed relationships that I hope will last. But I am who I am: I believe in courtesy and kindness and respect. That it’s possible to make money and do business without crushing people along the way. And that this doesn’t make me weak or naive: it’s not that I don’t understand the system, it’s that I reject it.

It’s such a relief to be free.